My company on the drive (Taken with instagram)
05.24.12 ♥ 0
It appears that for the first time in a very long while that I have found someone that makes me very happy.
Unfortunately, both of us are trying to start our careers and are about to be separated by a very large distance which made our relationship end just as quickly as it started.
This is my question -
How do you know what’s right in a situation such as this?
I couldn’t be more confused. This is something that has been nearly a decade in the making and it finally happened…all for what? A few great days and a bizarre feeling of emptiness afterward. My head is still spinning. It has been an absolute whirlwind of emotions.
I have pushed for so long to follow my dreams and be a strong, independent woman and finding someone wasn’t exactly on the top of my priority list - but it’s what I got when I absolutely least expected it.
Here are my options:
A: Go. Take a chance, follow my dreams and never look back.
B: Stay. Try to incorporate my dreams into life in the midwest and make an go at running the family biz. Take a chance on a great man and possibly have something there in the future.
In the end, I find myself asking the same questions - for several different aspects of my life.
What is more important? Will I regret my decision later?
or my favorite one
…And then what? After it’s all said and done, what will happen as a result of my actions?
I feel like this shouldn’t even be a big deal; a no-brainer. But, if you know me, you know that its not often that I let my guard down for anyone - friend, lover, even sometimes my family - and for this man to walk into my life and, in just 6 days, change all of that for me is a big deal.
My world has been completely turned upside down and I feel absolutely defenseless.
Who knows? I sure as hell dont.
In case you were wondering, it IS possible to have everything and be ridiculously unhappy with your life.
Yes, there are aspects of my life that I absolutely love, but I have never felt so unfulfilled. I would give up all of my material things for the chance to feel like I’m living life for me and not for someone else.
